unsent draft messages

Selfishly Ma, I want to tell you all
Breaking your heart into shards that will make you bleed
You raised a man to be proud of I hope
But in truth I’m nothing, nothing like the template you cut me from
A failure in your eyes?
Welling up, the heartbreak would drown you and I
The truth of myself is not what you expected
A charade, a show, a charlatan
How I wish you knew me
Though knowing that knowing me would destroy all you know
I guess I will continue with the show
I love you too much to let me hurt you
My head sits on your shoulder
And it feels like no-one has ever been closer
Yet in truth I’m so far from you and the older I become
The harder it is to play dumb
To play the son you wanted
Trying to be numb to the lie that ties us
To be blind to all that divides us
A commotion, a fuss thats really all pretend
Regardless of it all Ma, I’m yours..
Devoted till the end