There’s a room in my dreams that scares me
Hiding—
Hiding behind a sullen wooden door
At the end of a forgotten corridor
Where my feet it seems, cannot find the floor
The doorknob within reach
Though I dare not turn it
God No.
Clutching my pendant, I whisper a prayer
The totemic black steel, digging into my palm
Reciting the inscription
Tightening my grip
Imprinting the words on my fingertips
As though to replace the lines that define me
Hoping they end the suffering that binds me…
That binds me—
to the apparition beyond the door
Stuttering through the recitation
As I’m sliding down the wall in hesitation
A curled up ball of defeat
In a fetal squeeze
Compressing my chest
Stifling what’s left of my breath
Sensing the soul rattling unrest, lurking
Lurking beyond the sullen wooden door
Never sudden, the dread keeps on seeping
Almost as though a draught is weeping,
Weeping through the cracks left creaking
As it creeps in beneath the door
Sneaking a peek, to behold the curled up ball against the wall upon the floor
Within reach, almost touching my feet
It baulks as I suppress a shriek
Flinching,
Eyes wide, I’m gasping
Looking up through my shivered breath, now roused and rasping
Clasping my chest once again at the sound of rapping…rapping—
An unforgettable rapping against a once-forgotten door
Please, I whisper
Please…no more…no more…no…more. 💀
Tag: fear
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Knock knock…
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Limelight
Everyone tells me it’s simple
It’s seems so simple in theory
In a feeling, in a poem, in my heart I feel it all
So why won’t my mind let me believe?
Why does it fight love with fear?
I just want to be here and live the story
Not write my own
It’s a vast stage already
Why do I insist on doing improv in the cloakroom?
You can’t have dialog while reciting a soliloquy
Hear what is said and not what you think
That’s what I think people try to say
Reality is out there but what is real?
Their version or mine?
I have to trust that they nor I know
Yet we have to trust the dialog and engage
Here comes the fear demanding certainty
This floor open to unpredictability overwhelms me
Or is it you fear, that is overwhelmed?
I’m curious to see down the road
You wish to know it all before you know
See the end before we’re into the second act
At least read a review first
Yet this stage never ends
Exit stage left brings us right back to where we are
So next time let’s stay in the limelight a little longer
Or shall I say, I stay in the limelight
I can hold your hand in the shadow if you want?
But you follow me
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Little one
You must have heard how rough it can be
How tough it may seem sometimes
How fragile we are, though born from the stars and how we’ve lost our shine
How there’ll be lies and deceit and dirt on your feet, from steps where you will stumble
How there’ll be lies you are told and words that are cold and times where you’ll feel humbled
But don’t give in, this is a game you can win and there are so many hands to guide you
Willing you on like words to a song
We are a chorus right behind you!
Afraid as well, you can probably tell, that we will never see you grow
So please don’t run we’ll have so much fun.
Please…just say hello.
