The cotton sheets lay crisp between us
A glistening drifting strait between us
Along the shore
I see a setting sun between us
And all promises left adrift between us
The sky’s aglow in the colour of your eyes
Eyes gazing across the rift between us
Eyes that were once a bridge between us
Turning away
Saying goodbye
Now teardrops fill oceans between us
And I don’t know how to swim
The waves are far too strong between us
So my heart sinks and sinks and sinks
Category: Experiences
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Waves
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Moments
Sometimes I can’t catch a moment and months fly by
And then like dust in the wind it gets right in my eyes announcing it’s sudden arrival
Yet those moments in which I’m lost in thought about my love
Those are the strangest sweetest pains of all
At once the sensation of having no ground strong enough to catch the sinking feelings and then it catch me all the same
Bittersweet nostalgia of all yesterday’s laughter and love swirling above my head
Though time after time I see more and more that is not fragment of memory but a fictitious few seconds of a moment that never happened
I realise now that these fleeting seconds are hope
Hope of days to come when my love and I will chase the sun and leave the lonely nights behind
Those are my most cherished moments
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The Bus stop
I’ll be waiting by the bus stop
Come find me if you can
Opposite the gift shop
Come find the lonely manIt’s Wednesday night once again
And that means date night you see
I’ll be waiting for my best friend
Look for me by our treeThe one on which we carved our names
Down by the waters edge
Where we once danced unashamed
Where you fell in to my arms outstretchedI’ll be holding autumnal flowers
As the summer has drifted away
Come soon though, it’s been 8thousand hours
And my beard grows greyer by the dayBuzz me in, I’ll be outside your gate
With two rollies in my pocket
It’s cold out here and getting late
And all I have left, is your picture in my wallet
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In time
The following poem is a tribute to my grandmother, who I unfortunately only got to meet once in my life because she lived in Burma and it was nearly impossible at the time to visit. She passed before I could meet her again..
Eyes on the departure board
Tripping on the uneven curb
Kicked up dust ambles into amber hues of sunset
It hits me
As unexpected as the last time
Yet familiar
The same swell of feelings, teasing each other, daring each other to unleash all they remember
In that plume of dust, the curb vanishes
The phone in my hand morphs into a tattered passport
The train station dissolves in a blink and I’m now seated, looking over my shoulder at a hazy figure, gradually diminishing from view
Sweating in the heat of this rusting old car, I wipe my brow, for I must see
An acrid smell of petrol distracts for a moment; a moment too precious to lose, since the distance will only grow now
Fighting against the bumpy road, I crane my neck further still
I can see her hand gently waving, as she takes another weary step into the dust trail left behind.
The same gentle hand that was a stranger to me not long before this moment
The same hand that somehow became the safest, warmest and most giving that I can recall
Her hand
That had nothing to give me, yet gave me more than I deserved all the same
Her hand falls to her face, as her face falls into her shoulders
The weariness of age played it’s part
Yet there was more to this dejected posture and faltering of steps than my young mind would allow itself to believe
She knew this was the last goodbye
Time would not be kind enough to wait for her
For any of us
Alas I was naively convinced that time was immaterial
Just a vessel with man at the helm
A plane, through which we chose our paths.
As devoid of purpose as a road with no-one to tread it
I was mistaken
The humble warmth of her smile belonged to time, as much as it did to my own memory
My memories, belonging as much to time as to myself
For in time they will fade
The distance between the memory of her and the present will only grow now
More dust will be kicked up as time moves forward
The finer details of her face will be lost in the haze; her touch will remain but the texture of her hands will elude me
Chipped away by the chisel of time; all that will survive is her essence
The only eternal amidst the flecks of forgotten memories
Now the dust trail fades, as her silhouette is swallowed by a fast rising sun
I have to relent and turn away from this abrupt blaze of light
The sun draws closer and closer until it rushes past my face with a howl and suddenly my train arrives.
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The morning
I’m on the bus this morning
Like every morning
Like everyone else…
I like to think I’m like everyone else
…on the bus this morning
I like to say it’s the morning
Though its way past dawn and
I think I’m gonna be late again.
Juxtaposed against the sunny sky, is my head this morning
A big old foggy mess, before the caffeine hit
See I’m just like everyone else
Like everyone else on the bus this morning
Barely blinking, head bobbing, mouth gawping
Ratty whilst racing to work this morning
Just trying to buy my freedom…
Freedom from the bus for one morning
From the gawping, bobbing fog for one morning
From turning like a cog for one morning
Freedom to be me.
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Little one
You must have heard how rough it can be
How tough it may seem sometimes
How fragile we are, though born from the stars and how we’ve lost our shine
How there’ll be lies and deceit and dirt on your feet, from steps where you will stumble
How there’ll be lies you are told and words that are cold and times where you’ll feel humbled
But don’t give in, this is a game you can win and there are so many hands to guide you
Willing you on like words to a song
We are a chorus right behind you!
Afraid as well, you can probably tell, that we will never see you grow
So please don’t run we’ll have so much fun.
Please…just say hello.
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Night Drive
Three in the morning and we’ve done it again
The same promise we secretly promised to break
Tiredness never reaches the eyes
Or it does but we choose to pretend
Holding her in my eyes, as if one glance away will steal her from me
Never breathing deep, as the butterflies won’t rest in my chest
Struggling to maintain mystery, as my mouth keeps giving away the rest
Walking her to my car a thought tickles me
Has anyone else ever noticed how her eyes bewitch under a street light?
Even In that dull orange glow
Somehow she steals the show
There go the butterflies again
Breathe now Hammez, breathe
Finally in my Bentley, or so it feels right now
We take the same left turn and ride into the night.
Never quite sure what my DJ has in store
Deep dirty beats or a cheese filled score
Ah, If only I was a chameleon man
I’d easily keep one eye on her and the other on the road
Stealing glances at red lights, never quite enough
Smiling, singing, teasing, giggling
My co pilot, my confidante
As I shift gears her hand holds mine
I’m no believer but surely this is a sign
Reaching her home
Reaching in for a kiss
‘Keep the lights off’ she insists
Undercover lovers
Reminiscing another night under the covers
I drive home wondering how there were ever any others
Ask me what it is she possesses
That has me lost in her caresses
I’ll start with my heart
You fill in the rest.
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In my name
Cry for me, my hands are tied
Bathed in blood I didn’t ask for
Ashamed of my name taken in vain, tainted with stains and it pains me
Abused anew day by day,
One says ‘vote for me, I will fight for his name’
Another cuts a throat for me, in my honor many has he slain
Ever ready to fight
With harrowing words like bullets in flight
Messing up lives in my name, dressing up lies in a song
Though the words never came from my tongue
There is no righteous nor pious, merely decadent engorging on spiritual word play from within
Defiance is stoned as a sin
A sin, what is a sin? Staking a claim on common sense under the pretense of morality
Clenched in this fist of morality lays the power to determine ones own fate in mortality?
Woe be to thee who falls under their banner of infidelity
For you do not know my name
Nor can you lay claim to understanding my power nor my fame
Looking up you see the strings
I’m the one now dancing and they are the ones who sing
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A windy day
A leaf
Detached
Swept up
Powerless
In flight
Dizzy
Gazing down
Sighing
Uncoupled
Homeless
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The Tavern
Oh how slowly does he pour my drink!
Lest I sear my throat to soon
And slumber through the new moon
The barkeeper keeping me at bay
For the pleasure is not in rushing
But in the leisure of the stay
Nor does he fill the glass
Swells lapping safely beneath the brim
Tavern lights tauntingly twinkle the empty crystal
Unsatisfied I push the chalice back
He holds my gaze
He holds my gaze
He holds my gaze
Floundering I draw the chalice back
Raising a toast
Or a white flag, I’m not so sure
He interrupts
‘To good health Ghafoor,
savour the sweet,
relish the heat
Make not haste but merely saunter
Keep your eyes on me not on the decanter
To good health Ghafoor’
His stinginess in the pour
Baffling for I knew not what for
Yet he was much wiser than I
That much I cannot deny
For here I sit
Struggling to take a sip
It was but one drop
But that one drop was a river
Barely breathing my lungs fill
The barkeeper takes the glass, forseeing the spill
‘You cannot traverse this stream yet you seek the ocean’
‘Seeking my peace though you drown in commotion’
‘A faithless heart yet you claim devotion’
With eyes growing heavy
Burdened by the shame my shoulders shuddered to bear
Waining before the barkeepers glare
The temple I entered now becomes my tomb
The tavern lamps slowly dance into the gloom
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False Prophets
God bless freedom of speech.
Giving you the freedom to preach,
breaching barriers of peace, for the agenda you seek.
With venom in your words, spoken with passion to your herd.
A barrage of hate 24/7.
In false hope for a false heaven, standing in no mans land holding an ak47.
In their ignorance you find bliss.
As softly as a kiss, you sink in your knife and give it a twist.
Raising a finger to the sky, spouting lie after lie, leading men women and children to die. Leaving mothers to cry..until the last cry fades in the breeze..
Until even god is on his knees.
Cursing his hands for moulding your disease.
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Glad we met line
Riding down the stairs
Ignoring all the stares
Caressing all the way
No fear of PDA
Stumbling through the train
With one thing on my brain
Following the sway of her hips
Eyes drawn to her lips
Stops go by in a haze
Feels like a minute
May have been days
So sexy is this miss
So moreish is her kiss
Once again I miss dinner
Because I followed her to Pinner
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Cardboard castle
They call him a waster
A tramp with no purpose
Vacantly gazing
Shuffling in a vacuous meander
They don’t slow their steps
Take a moment to see
That his eyes aren’t empty
Burdened with a sadness
Hopes and feelings like all men
With tales of trials and triumphs
Torn and tattered
Sitting on his cardboard throne
Reflecting on his kingdom of solitude
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Stumbling on the Kwai
We, the 1st batallion of decadence walked in your path.
Forged through kinship among scarlett tears; laid on foundations of fallen brothers.
Across this slumbering beast, above the surging kwai.
Suffering from intoxication. We the 1st batallion of decadence, meandered in your path.
Atop this iron giant, where once our fathers stood.
Astride the mighty kwai, that once our fathers feared.
We, the first batallion of decadence, marched in the shadow of your sacrifice.
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The shoes with flashing lights
Mum please
But they’re so cool
Look they flash!
Mum, don’t be so cruelYou have thirty pounds
I saw it in that bill
When you counted out the coppers
For the lady on the tillRed lights mum, look!
Please mum don’t be tight
I won’t play footie in them
I won’t let them out of sightMum why do you look sad?
Is it because you want them too?
Cheer up mum come on
You never get me anything newI won’t ask for anything else
Even on my birthday, nothing…
Yes! Thanks mum your the best
I knew you were only playingSize 3s please
In white and blue
No-ones got these
I’m gonna look well coolHold on
Why did you put that handbag down?
You said you saved up for it
Mum, that’s why we came to townOk, how do I look?
Mum? Don’t you like them?
They’re well mint
That handbag though..
You’ve wanted that since way back whenWhen I wanted the lion king video
You put the handbag down
When my bike broke
You put the handbag down
That time I wanted Gregg’s
Again you put the handbag down
No mum,
Not this time aroundThat handbag is nicer
It brings out your eyes
I want to make you smile mum
You always say it’s ok
Though you tell me its wrong to lieI wish I was that kid again mum
I wish you never had to lie
Mum you did so much for us
Yet we never even tried.
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Swifts
As you turned south in the cold, my swifts lingered unknowing.
Acrobats of the sky, they looped and danced in the setting sun.
Not sensing the cool winds approaching, nor the distance you had flown.
All that remained were feathers, blown from an unfinished nest.
If my swifts landed for a moment, the question I would ask is; did they feel your warmth up high?
Did they understand the glow in your eyes?
Now in colder times, I question every raindrop if it ever touched your skin.
I clutch at the breeze and ask if it’s carried your voice.
My swifts flew so high, they forgot to look down.
Too proud to realise it was the wind that held them aloft.
The same wind on which you flew away
The same wind that whispered your goodbyes
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Jubilee line
Burgers, brogues, bleating kids
The worst play I’ve paid for
An endless ensemble
Entering, exiting…exasperating!
A sensory explosion of the vomiting kind
Sticky handles…
Nice.
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Sunday Blues
Today I sing the blues
I lost my girl to a bad deed
Today I sing the blues
I’m the bluest of blues indeedShe gave me love like a flame
The fire in my heart burned for her
She gave me love like a flame
But like a foolish man I turned from her[hook]
She was my baby and now I cry
She was my baby and now I cry!
I used to kiss her goodmorning
Now I can’t even kiss her goodbyeYesterday I seen my baby walkin’
I see my baby walkin’ away
She used to walk her sexy walk with me
Not no more since I done betrayedDear God what am I to do?
What am I to do without my baby?
I just want to hold her so tight lord
But my baby, my baby says we’re throughShe was my baby and now I cry
She was my baby and now I cry!
I used to kiss her goodmorning
Now I can’t even kiss her goodbyeI was no good
Thats right! I said I was no good
I played with my baby’s heart
I didnt do what a good man shouldI loved my darling
Lord I loved my baby so
Love that I never showed
Now my baby’s tellin’ me,
She tellin’ me I gotta goShe was my baby and now I cry
She was my baby and now I cry!
I used to kiss her goodmorning
Now I can’t even kiss her goodbye
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South London soul
Once upon a time
Not too long ago
In deepest darkest Peckham
Where life’s kinda slowFive boys turned up
All ready to mingle
Jokers the lot of them
There’s a reason they’re singleThe sound was James Brown
Funkin’ hipsters in snapbacks
Singing ‘It’s a mans world’
Two-stepping to PaybackThere was bounty of beauties
Some cool and some bitchy
Some with lip hair, kinda like Lionel RichieMore mules than jewels
But the boys weren’t fussed
Full of night fever
Brains drunk on lustThe time now 4am
And the women were sparse
The boys kept on hustling
A complete tour-de-farceOne finally cracked it
He bagged him a lady
She whispered in his ear
‘Oooh I love to love you baby’5 in the morning
The crowd was looking drab
What’s the answer?
What’s the question?
Is it cab or kebab?Now the story ends
As the dawn creeps closer
Stumbling outside, feeling cold and sober
Alone and hungover, walked one of the jokers
All of a sudden, there’s a tap on his shoulder
Startled by the touch, even more by the odour
His bleary eyes settle on a gurning ogreHer skin was scales and her nose was runny
‘I’ll lick your bumhole sir, just gimme some money’The joker heard enough
He turned and made a dash
The ogre followed screaming
‘Please I need the cash!’Just another night in crackwhore heaven
Where soul meets the dole
Welcome to Peckham 🙂
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The fake aces
Time is a healer
But there is no pain
So sublime is the dealer
I love playing this gameThe tide isn’t turning
And my will is weak
This hand isn’t earning
I will lose this streakThere is no skill
Instincts at play
Eyes locked until
One blink betraysTurning up the cards
Revealing stone faces
Under the dealers regard
I play them as acesAblaze in the darkness
The spotlight hums
Testing my sharpness
Play smart or play dumb?But the dealer is smarter
The epitomy of wit
With this hand could I barter?
Or fold and submit?Down the river we travel
A swell of crimson shades
Alas my hand unravels
You bail with buckets not spadesTime is a healer
But there is no pain
So sublime is the dealer
I love playing this game
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