unsent draft messages

I’m thinking about all the best friends I’ve had

Life happened, and they had to go

When did you go, though?

I forgot you were the first

Together, we’d make up the worst stories,

Glorious games with stupid names,

The ending always the same

We’d fight the monster and win,

Pinning him down with throw cushions

He’d be wishing that he never started the fight!

That’s right,

We beat him again,

Sending him packing back to hell

We’d be flexing and roaring,

With one hell of a story to tell!

Man, those were the days

It was never lonely when we were together

You’d make up stupid songs that never rhymed,

Remember? And they always had poops and farts in them,

Real works of art

Man, it’s such a blur now

Randomly they get served up in my head, and it tickles me,

How little we needed when we were small

It was you and I

So, when did we stop being friends?

Maybe around 9 or 10?

Around the time we stopped playing pretend?

Funny how much pretend I play now

I pretend I don’t, but I do

It’s all a bit confusing,

You wouldn’t understand

When we played, it was for fun and adventure

Now it’s to get through the day

You’d think I’d be an expert with all the practice we had

But it’s tough man

The feeling of never being enough man

Feels rough

It was easier when you were around

It sounds weird to say, but I wished you were here

By my side so we could fight the monsters together,

Wherever they may be

Sometimes in the world,

But mostly inside of me

I think that’s how I found you again

Lately, I’ve been reading these fancy books

And talking to fancy people

They’re trying to help fight the monsters,

But it’s not the same

It was more fun when it was a game,

When I didn’t know the monster had a name

That it wasn’t always a monster but a friend I forgot

In my blind spot, running alongside me,

Begging to be let back inside,

Screaming and afraid

The monsters were chasing him too,

I’m sorry, old friend,

I wish… I wish I knew…

The monster I was running from… it was you.