I woke up late this blessed Sunday morning
No rush today, even the birds were yawning
All my chores done, there’s nothing for me to do
Nothing to do, except feel blue over you
I wasn’t expecting any guests today
So why were the blues standing in my hallway?
I barely set foot out of my bedroom
As upon my shoulders climbed the gloom
Please not today! I begged and I pleaded
I had a good week, I thought I succeeded?
The blues turned to me yet said nothing at all
His silent treatment always makes me feel small
So I guess we’re doing this? Fine let’s make some tea
No need for two cups, he just likes to watch me
The sun was still outside but that is where it stayed
Today the blues and I, will parley in the shade
Did you miss me all week? Is that why you didn’t knock?
Sorry friend I was busy running down the clock
Filling my time with all sorts to fill it
Holding it together so I dont accidentally spill it
What shall we talk about then old friend?
I won’t say ‘Im fine’, no need to pretend
Regret, guilt or shall we try something new?
Whatever it is friend, just make sure it’s true
You have a penchant for adding extra spice
Trust me though, what we already have will suffice
Just don’t take up the whole day please
Leave at least some of it for me to seize…
Tag: Sad
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Sunday brews
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On pause
I always teased about how very small you were
How so far removed away from very tall you were
Now that very small you has burst a hole in me
Taken all the air and the very soul of me
Can’t believe I won’t be fighting with your hair no more
Can’t believe I’m writing that we are no more
Can’t be me without a you, not the me that I know
Can’t conceive that I’m to grieve and to receive no more
You were poetry
A Pandora’s box
You were electricity
Energy on tap
We can both agree
We can both agree
Yet now I write in tenses made for yesterday
I write to you but you’re no longer here to say
That you love it or you hate it, it’s just me today
Longing for your loving
It’s just me today
Knowing youre not coming
I’m so sad to say
Can’t let it fade away
Why does it fade away?
Where do these words come from?
Where were they when your eyes were crying ‘say something?’
Don’t overthink the words just bloody say something
Something loving without trying
Why won’t you say something?
Just say something!
You were everything
In the sense that I didn’t sense it
You were everything
The joy, the pain the laughter
All the little things
Be it blessing or disaster
You were everything
You were my everything
Not just the pretty parts
Though truth be told
You made up most of all the pretty parts
Mixed in among the witty and the gritty parts
Not forgetting to add in the total fitty parts
You really stood apart
You really stood apart
Now apart we sit and it rips the heart from me
You left with everything
Why won’t you take the dark from me?
You left your mark but now it’s too damn dark to see
Come won’t you help me see?
See that little bit of you that I stole from you
The little spark within my soul I stole from you
That same one that burst the hole
Like it was the whole of you
It was the whole of you
Now I long to tease about how very small you were
How so far removed away from very tall you were
How long it’s been since the last memory
There’s none newer
None of the joy or the bliss or last kiss of yours
Like someone came along and left us stuck on pause
Are we stuck on pause
Who left us stuck on pause?I’m pressing all the buttons but the screen won’t change
Keep pressing home but nothing happens, someone please explain
I must complain this is insane
That we are left estranged
Truth be told though..I think I am to blame
I really am to blame
Such a shame
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Boxes piled high
There were no more boxes left to fill
Standing like a cardboard nightscape
A fragile tribute to the city you were escaping
I used my practical voice and avoided your eyes
Feeling the void looming
Navigating the boxes
Resisting the urge to turn them upside down
This day was always coming
So far away it seemed in the spring
So far away you were about to goWhy were you going?
Please stay with me!..
Be still…
Eyes down now
Be strong…The boxes were full
I was holding your dark blue coat
The one with the furry collar
The one, that tickled my nose when I leaned into rest my head next to yours
Wondering if I could hide it to make you stay, for 5 minutes more
All the boxes were full
You saw me dithering and smiled slightly
There was a tiny bit of room left in the big box
You folded as I pressed down to make space
It wouldn’t fit but I pushed harder
Suddenly the side split and I almost fell in
You spluttered a little laugh as I climbed out
We finally looked at each other grinning
On our knees, beside your bed
The box overflowedI saw your eyes again, for the first time
But, this time we smiled politely and parted
You were not the one
No hard feelings as we said goodbye
No memories to put into boxes
No torn cardboard revealing the mess
We never sat on the floor, exploring each others faces
I never saw your questioning eyes
Why did I let you go?
Why didn’t I beg you to stay?
Why did I let you down?We both laughed, as our eyes betrayed us
I clenched my teeth to stop the smile cracking
But it cracked, when I saw your brow quiver
And we cried,
And cried,
And cried
Holding you in this chapter for the last time,
I cried
You should never have had to go
It shouldn’t have been me that said goodbye
If I could rewrite our story
You would never have loved me
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