Time to put my head down
Get me some sleep
Gotta fight the devil first
Cos he’s grabbing my feet!
Through the sheets, I feel the heat
Man, I almost skip a heart beat!
I start to sweat as he jumps on my chest
Safe bet tonight I won’t be getting no rest
I hear his whispers of indifference to the predicament I’m in
He knows I’m listening and whimpering cos I’m troubled within
Troubled by him
Troubled by his stupid little devilish grin
Like an urchin, got me begging for scraps
Got me begging for my freedom,
Cos I’m caught in his trap
But the devil is a prick
This be his bread and butter
Filling my head with so much dread that I stammer and stutter,
Spluttering out my feeble little plea
Please Mr devil sir, tonight just let me be..
Tonight just let me sleep, let me drift into dreams
Please don’t follow me and turn this gift into screams!
Stuck again in this present tense situation
With his unwanted presence
My acquiescence,
And unwavering consternation
Same old conversation,
That never concludes
Whether I engage or not, I do not get to choose
I do not get to snooze
I just lose
Tick tick tick the hours slip away
I hear it second hand as he counts down every minute
This devil’s level of detail pushing me to my limit
Pushing me to admit that tonight he might just win it,
Fuck it…
I give up
Theres no point in persevering
All these decibels make my ears ring
I toss and I turn but I still hear him
No glossing over the burning of my glazed eyes stinging,
As his shrill voice singes my cochlea
Singing his sweet serenade as my renegade heart palpitates a beat to this endless rendition called..insomnia
Oh if I could only get some sleep..
I can’t get no sleep…
Tag: freestyle
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Insomnia
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Duelling
I only have compassion for you
When you’re apart from me
If I could see you sitting there,
Side by side, shoulders slumped,
Heavy,
I’d feel something for you
I could even hug you,
Whether you let me or not
It doesn’t matter—
I’d see you though,
Saying nothing
I’d feel you
When you’re someone else,
It’s easier
They say, be disciplined with yourself,
Be kind to others
My discipline was always the stick
I beat you down and then put you over there
I see you again,
And I care—
Enough to want to hold you
It must be tough to only exist when it hurts,
To be seen only through pain
Why is it easier this way?
Imagine there was no you or I,
Neither together nor apart,
No more dueling with duality,
No victim, no villain
To never see you again—
How beautiful that would be,
To be,
Only to be.
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Mr Brown
All I wanted was connection,
But in the face of such rejection
I internalised this feeling and internalised my frown
But don’t say it’s cos your brown man
Nah man don’t say it’s cos your brown
Why identify with pain?
Can’t you see we’re all the same?
There’s no colours, only lovers, only love for one another, We all sisters, we all brothers
Why identify as ‘other’?
Don’t say it’s cos your brown though
Nah, don’t say it’s cos your brown
Other, over there,
Wrong side of the gate
Got kicked over cos of fear,
Got pushed over cos of hate
Saying we’re all the same,
Just shows you can’t relate
Can’t even contemplate
The level of contempt that can tempt a man to kill
With no hesitation
How hate infiltrates his mind, like he thinks we have this nation
Wants his country back,
Didn’t know it was his nation
Mr Misinformation,
Blaming us for the state of this damn nation
Blinkered to the truth cos my skin is his fixation
Reading horror stories on the net
Thread after thread,
Of total fabrication
Wish I could change the station
But every channel is overflowing,
With boat loads of frustration
That is what I’m dealing with,
That’s the situation
I want to believe we are the same
No colours, no others, no shame
Cos identity is heavy man,
It’s like dragging around a chain
That started with your name,
But where does the chain end?
When will the pain end?
It makes the mind bend
The cognitive dissonance,
The ambivalence to one another
Like, who drew the line that made us the ‘other’?
Who decided which colours paint us coloured?
Why can’t we tear up this playbook?
Instead of tearing each other down?
I’d love to internalise your love for me
Turn this frown upside down
Eventually forget I ever said..
It might be cos I’m brown, man,
It might be cos I’m brown..
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