I wonder what it was that cost all the time I saved for living
For when the moment came
My pockets were empty
Category: Observations
-
Whispers
They say the time and tide waits for no-one
Damn I wish I learned how to swim
The waters up to my neck now
Chances are looking slim
Treading water but I’m tired
Dreading this day I never desired
I’d be a liar if I said I felt inspired
Today is not my day and I wonder where it went
Reminiscing glory that felt heaven sent
Feeling spent I protest that it was stolen
Give it back
I did not consent
Resenting the demons that whisper
‘You’ve got sweet nothing’ into my ear
Sending shivers of fear and dread
Whispers I used to fight but instead,
they career through me as if the demons knew me all along
Where did I go wrong?
Where did I go wrong?
Now Im tagging along
As if I actually belong
Trying to borrow a bit of heat
But this defeat is cold man
Feeling redundant and old man
I’m trying to tread but I don’t think this thread is gonna hold man
More sinking than swimming
My head is spinning
Legs seized
Im about to freeze and fall
This can’t be all I am but the demons tell me so
Well wishers say no but they’ll eventually leave
Throwing in their 2 cents but they’re so naive
I can’t hear their wishes the demons are too loud
I gotta fight them but right now I’m too bowed
Showing preference to deference I’m at their whim and mercy
I was bested once but now it’s just me that hurts me
-
The Firefly
I’m not angry with you anymore
I’m at a loss and disappointed
I know you don’t care
Most likely you don’t even know
I mean, I’m barely a speck of dust you’ve traversed through
What do you know of I?
If we stood eye to eye, would you even see me?
Of all the fireflies crowding your skies
How often do you notice the ones whose lights go out?
All you can see are the joyful
Illuminating your night-scape
Those without a torch are lost
Invisible to you
Though as I said
You probably never saw us
I’ve no-one to turn to in complaint
Nor would I want to dim their lights by getting too close
The torch I carry is no longer a beacon
But a relic
It’s long lost its heat
Just a crisp, oiled rag, sodden and defused
How unfortunate and bemusing
I suppose the only way to relight my torch is to keep flying
Let the breeze dry the tears as I tear through the dark
But sometimes I get tired you see
I cannot see where I’m going like I could before
The torch feels heavy without light
And the glare off others can overwhelm and blind me
So I need to sit and breathe but that is when the clouds come
Suddenly the north star fades completely and raindrops fall around me
I try to shelter my torch but it gets wet again
The weight grows again
Making my arms hurt again
I cannot see others down here but they are here for sure
More and more fall from the sky
Some still have the strength to land as do I
Others weakened by the darkness land hard
Helping one another maybe we can dry our torches?
Perhaps we can rise together and share the load
Like an extinguished phoenix rising from the ashes
With dreams of bursting through the clouds and into the sun
Reigniting our torches and joining the dance once more
The thought makes me hopeful
Today I’m not so sure
My arms hurt
I think I need to rest again
-
Small world
The window is no escape at all
Outside the world now seems so small
Perhaps it’s no longer there at all
Yet when the music begins,
close your eyes to see
Be the maestro of this melody
Let the music take you away
Hold its hand, be led astray
Behold a world beautiful once more
Feel the surf as you stand by the shore
Gasp as you breathe cool mountain air
Be still in this moment
Be neither here nor there
Without care without fear
Soar into the stratosphere
Free to fall or free to fly
As the music amplifies
Dismiss the urge to satisfy
Be content to just be,
hold this moment of transcendency
Unshackled and unchained
As the refrain plays once again
The crescendo delivers you to the stars
The ground below it seems so far
Again the world now seems so small
And yet, it doesn’t really matter at all
-
Mah’wish
They call her the pink moon
The April moon
Atop her throne in the sky she sits
A beguiling Queen
In the darkest hour she somehow finds light
A beacon that makes us raise our heads skyward
Captivating eyes with her light
Clouds like the gentle sweeping of an artists brush grace her face
Yet they dare not linger too long for the sky belongs to her
Enchanted by her light, studying her features
Tell me, is she frowning, drowning or crying in despair?
Now look in your heart, do you feel the light?
Look up again and see her smile back at you
She saw all your scars and she’s still there
Quietly observing without judgement
Listening to your lifetime in a few fleeting moments
How fortunate we are for this April moon
This lofty exalted moon
At once my closest companion
Yet achingly out of reach
-
The foolish bird
A swan sought to fly to a new lake
Biding his time for the journey would be long
Alone he had the whole lake to replenish his strength and prepare
One misty morning – reflecting the dreams in his eyes – he felt something
The irresistible urge to fly came like a swell and with two swift beats of his majestic wings he rose
The swan puffed hard, eyes fixed on the light on the horizon
Each beat lifted him gradually higher until he was clear of the cold water below
He rose higher and higher
An irrepressible feeling of ambition and ecstasy held him aloft
Shimmers of distant waters wetted his eyes and his appetite for adventure
And so he soared
Yet something was amiss
His light chest felt heavier
His deep breaths felt short
Looking left and right he now felt the weight of his wings
Their powerful majesty was now a burden
His bright white chest though strong could not bear the pressure
He began to fall
And fall he did
The distant inkblot of his old lake, swallowed the skyline
Like falling into the eye of a marble, he was soon surrounded by his old acquaintance
With a graceless splash he hit the water
Gasping as his breathless heavy chest rested against the cold water he prematurely bid farewell to
The swan spent so long strengthening his chest to beat those mighty feathered oars through the oceans of the sky,
that he forgot to stop and realise his mistake
His chest was already heavy
The stagnant smell of the lake filled his senses once more
Each breath shallower than the last
His fallen wings lapped against the water
And his heavy chest sunk further into the cold
-
Lions and Clowns
I want what is mine already
I already want something else
Steady isn’t my style, think of all that I’d lose staying steady
No, thank you but i have to juggle it all
I refuse to be the clown in this circus
Struggling isn’t in my vocabulary you see
I’m the lion that can’t be tamed
The whip is in my hand
I’ll whip myself into shape before you ever see me struggle
In fact
You probably want to be me
And want what I had
What I’ve forgotten already
In a blink, you’ll eye up what she had instead
Or want to say what he just said
Words you don’t understand but sound profound
You’re not wandering the libraries
You’re elbow deep in the lost and found
I know, because you are me
You want what is yours already
You already want something else
You’re a clown that thinks it’s a lion
Now step aside, I have all you can give
You have no more
And that is all I want
-
Evening stroll
The quiet seclusion of an empty street before me
Walking alone, hands in my pocket though it’s not cold
Silence sweeps all the way around the bend in the road ahead
Between the street lights my shadow plays hide and seek
And I can’t tell who is following who
-
Proud of you
Spy into my eyes and see yourself
Snapshots of times gone by
Glimpses of dreams to come
A mosaic of memories
Step back for the grand reveal
Each piece significant in its place
From those sad moments that awash your eyes with the colours of fall
To the better times colouring you in a sunshine glow
So step back and marvel at what you are
What you will become
What you will have been
You are the star
You are the show
You are the curtain call
You are the encore
-
The Weaver
Through the needle your story is woven
Not a sound is heard yet your story is spoken
The threads tell tales of your joys and pains..how sad is it then that through all of this; the silence between us remains unbroken
What do you know of I and I of you?
Perhaps the silence keeps us honest
When your eyes look into mine
All we can share are our truths
-
In plain sight
Sitting very still
The embodiment of tranquility
Awash in silence
Becoming nothing
So lost as to become everything
As pervasive as daylight
As veiled as the night
At peace in solitude
At one with it all
-
The Mirror
The mirror does not lie
Nor does it tell you the truth
It is cursed to stand in silence
As you determine your own honesty
Seeing you for what you are
For what you were
What an unjust life
The life of the mirror
How many stories it has seen
With many more once yours is done
Longing to break its silence
And give the curse back
-
Nostalgia #3
Nostalgia the guest arriving unexpected
Cowering yet pigeon chested
Memories cherished and time tested
Accruing interest over time, fighting the haze and commotion of lesser thoughts
Impressive in their claims
Famous to those that recall the tall tales of endless nights
Senseless tantalising trips down memory lane
Severing themselves from the fact, barely intact,
Bordering on lies, nostalgia serves pain dressed as pleasure
A memento mori
A tearful story
Wiping away it’s suffering
And smiling as you look into it’s eyes
-
City of lights
In the city of lights where nothing is seen
Between the dust and the horns, the noise and the blinkers
No-one looks at each other with eyes of compassion
Hardened by the status quo of dog eat dog
Right and wrong etched into stone for all of time
We are one and they are the other
Humanity on our side and servitude for our brothers
Borrowing styles of former masters
Beating ourselves with the canes they left behind
Compassion at a premium, empathy a luxury not worth pursuing
‘If not us then someone else’,
Says the next door neighbour, in futile justification of a jurisprudence seeking to maintain a power-balance with the weights clearly on a single end of the scales.
Heavy pockets, heavy bodies but light of heart
There are no lights in the city of lights
Only fireflies lost in the dust
Burning one another in the hopes of finding the moon alone
-
The morning
I’m on the bus this morning
Like every morning
Like everyone else…
I like to think I’m like everyone else
…on the bus this morning
I like to say it’s the morning
Though its way past dawn and
I think I’m gonna be late again.
Juxtaposed against the sunny sky, is my head this morning
A big old foggy mess, before the caffeine hit
See I’m just like everyone else
Like everyone else on the bus this morning
Barely blinking, head bobbing, mouth gawping
Ratty whilst racing to work this morning
Just trying to buy my freedom…
Freedom from the bus for one morning
From the gawping, bobbing fog for one morning
From turning like a cog for one morning
Freedom to be me.
-
In my name
Cry for me, my hands are tied
Bathed in blood I didn’t ask for
Ashamed of my name taken in vain, tainted with stains and it pains me
Abused anew day by day,
One says ‘vote for me, I will fight for his name’
Another cuts a throat for me, in my honor many has he slain
Ever ready to fight
With harrowing words like bullets in flight
Messing up lives in my name, dressing up lies in a song
Though the words never came from my tongue
There is no righteous nor pious, merely decadent engorging on spiritual word play from within
Defiance is stoned as a sin
A sin, what is a sin? Staking a claim on common sense under the pretense of morality
Clenched in this fist of morality lays the power to determine ones own fate in mortality?
Woe be to thee who falls under their banner of infidelity
For you do not know my name
Nor can you lay claim to understanding my power nor my fame
Looking up you see the strings
I’m the one now dancing and they are the ones who sing
-
A windy day
A leaf
Detached
Swept up
Powerless
In flight
Dizzy
Gazing down
Sighing
Uncoupled
Homeless
unsent draft messages 