One day
On the final day
On my final day
Some will hear of it, and maybe say
Ashes to ashes
While others say
No way! Dig a hole in the ground
That’s the right way
Either way, I can’t stay!
They’ll put me away
Somewhere far,
Far, far away
Where I will lay
Where I’ll remain
Or my remains will remain
My remains?
How?
That remains to be seen
Though definitely not remains to be seen!
That would be rather obscene
Imagine the scenes…
Sorry, I digress
Where was I?
I died, yes…
And my remains?
Still nowhere to be seen
Buried or blown away — either way
That’s my last day in the sun done
Until my tea leaf-like existence infuses with the next rainfall
Until the waves dissipate from the last time my name’s called
And that will truly be all
An existence steeped in life, steeped back into the earth
One way or another, I am returned
After that final sip,
It’s time to call it a day
Thank you and goodnight 🫖
Category: Fun
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Loose leaf
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Verbossman uncut
Lately I’ve been on some other-level shit
Revelling in rebelling against the devil playing advocate!
Revolution on my mind…
Revolver in my right hand—
Reminding the devil who’s boss!
Playing Russian roulette,
Praying I don’t pay the cost
Firing shots at random,
Double-tap the trigger,
Bullets fly in tandem
Catching strays myself
As I wrestle with accountability—
Counting on my knack for grappling with facts
And turning them into an account ability!
Cursed with the compulsion for writing pretty words
Cursive letters strung together—
It’s a little bit absurd
Abstracted from reality,
Allergic to banality,
Eclipsing every musing with obscurate totality!
I’m howling now…
Maybe a little crazy
Smiling too…
As if these words will save me
On my ones…
Lonely master of verbosity,
Speaking tongues,
If only I mastered the vernacular of veracity
Instead of hiding behind this poetry—
If you can call it that…
Now here comes the “woe is me”
Nah man, let’s claw it back
This propensity for self-pity is not a sexy look
Classic avoidant tendency,
Staring at the void incessantly
With an incandescent rage—
With the ink in my pen,
Filling page after page
With pure, indirect savagery!
Intense is the density of imagery
Of the imaginary,
Of the abstract
Utterly absurd utterings—
Figuratively speaking…
Literally, though—
I’m already stuttering
Nope, I…
I can’t do it
Ah, fuck!
I’m stuck,
I’ve lost the thread
Tied in knots
Dreadlocked
Stranded, with this harebrained rhyming scheme
Seems I’m straining
Clogging the drain,
I’m fading…
Drained of sense,
I’m fading
Slowly does it,
I’m fading
Tryna let it go—
Let it fade…
That’s it
Let me fade away
I’m fading,
I’m fading,
I’ve… faded…
I’ve…
…Explainer: A poem about talking too much. About thinking too fast. About trying to be clever when really just wanting to be heard. Verbossman is turning up the volume up on your inner monologue and then losing the remote. 😬
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Pallavi (The Refrain)
Come,
Spend another moment with me
Be the chorus to this melody
Be the refrain that drives me insane
Be unabashed and unashamedly you.
The tempest, the temptress, relentless
Leaving me restless and battling with verbosity
Reeling too…
Cos I’m feeling you
As I stutter and stumble,
over the intensity of the chemistry,
within the brevity of that moment
That moment you spent with me
Dazed within your gaze,
I was revelling in you
My..what a rendezvous!
How decadent…
Such a treat, however fleeting it was,
What a meeting it was
Leaving my heart beating through my skin
Breathing heavy with a devilish grin.
Now,
I wanna feel your refrain again
Whisper your name again
Indulgently…
Intentionally
Lay you next to me
Simmering with subtle intensity
Staring… impatiently
Unapologetically
Daring you to be unsubtle with me
Well,
What do you say…Pallavi?
Spend another moment with me?
Bas ek pal? 😛 (Just one moment)
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Waiting for the drop
Tears of joy are rare, if ever, for me,
Except when the music plays…
They teeter on the edge,
As if to bear witness,
To the thick air of the rave,
To that hush before the drop,
To the pause before the moment stops.That tear…
Limbers up like a gymnast poised to tumble
Through the canopy of my lashes,
Cutting a shimmering hue down my cheek,
Waiting for the moment to stop.In that moment, the self unravels,
In that moment, silence reigns.
As the crescendo peaks and the bass resonates through every fiber,
Rippling like a pebble-struck ocean,
I cannot fathom this ethereal epiphany,
Coursing through every plane of my former self.Is it within or without?
My soul flirts with the frequencies,
Converging at the event horizon.
The heart and the beat are one.
Enveloped in sound, the crowd dissolves.
We are one.
Here comes the pause.
Hairs stand to attention.
A quivering breath escapes.
And then…
The drop.A tsunami crashes through the barriers of my core,
Pure ecstasy swells to the fore,
As the drop collides head-on with the shore.
Succumbing to the waves, we are all submerged…
We are alone, no more.
And as that first wave retreats,
That stubborn tear finally tumbles and falls to the floor.
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The dry cleaner
Spread, fold,
Stretch and steam,
Press, assess—
Then on to the next
Costumes, disguises,
Glad rags and sad,
Press, assess—
Then on to the next
Daily, nightly,
They come and they go,
Press, assess—
Then on to the next
Scraping, slamming,
Shutters pulled down,
Keep the actors dressed
Till the curtain comes down
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Midnight train
Laying out tracks for the incoming train of thought
Freight train of course
Need space for all the baggage
It’s going to be a heavy load tonight
The workers better hurry and put that track down
Derailing is not desirable
Could you imagine?
The carnage would be unspeakable
It took a lifetime to accumulate all this baggage
Although… offloading some couldn’t hurt right?
Might reach the destination a little faster?
A little lighter?
The thoughts a good one
Just a backpack and a deep breath
Guys take a break tonight
I’m done thinking
I’m dreaming now
And last time I checked, trains can’t fly
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Shakespeare of innuendo
I’m makin’ it sexy before pressing send tho!
Cos I’m like the Shakespeare of innuendo!
My words slither so smooth, even snakes fear me
Wrapping myself around you
I’ll make yo leg shake…dear me!
Watch your step near me, I could bite
Seeing you there..mmmh think I just might!
I’ll keep it tight and concise
Precisely imitating what I see
Don’t keep me waiting though
Within you is where I wanna be..
Oops I let slip.. that was hardly subtle
I had a feeling that it was gonna be a struggle
That feeling that betrays the innocence of a snuggle
That feeling that says..we about to get in trouble
That feeling when I see your face and….
Okay backspace…backspace…backspace…
Shakespeare remember!
Crescendo that innuendo, take your time
I’ll steal away your body but first I want your mind
Look past instincts, this is cerebral
Allow taking you to church
Tonight I’m building a fucking cathedral!
I’ll soak you in a shower of letters
Envelope you in a blanket of words
Like supple leather they’ll bind your hands, over your head as they get more absurd
Whipping your wits till you submit and admit you’re done
Losing your mind but feeling like you won
All this yet the fun hasn’t even begun..
Thats more like it
I said everything but said nothing at all
Now…you’re reaching over to give me a call
Now…oops…you’re wearing nothing at all
Signing off,
Shakespeare of innuendo,
Cos you know…
I’ll be in you in the end…oh…for fucks sake
…backspace…backspace…
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Ode to a Reverie
Reverie, oh reverie!
Once you did not mean much to me
Be it verbose or full of brevity
Your flights brimmed with possibility
Never knowing the trajectory
Mixing like an apothecary
Making melodies out of memories
Allowing hell to feel heavenly
Releasing shackles of reality
Letting my eyes reflect fantasy
Reverie oh reverie!
Never ever let me be
Your name may have eluded me
Though my heart always knew how much you meant to me.
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A shot for hope
Sitting here again
Thinking, drinking
Smoking something straight up stinking
Reminiscing all the faces that be missing from my life
Spinning stories of strife on the edge of knife
Carving off the fat to show the starving soul
The story untold
The voice that’s never heard, it’s absurd all the words that we use
More red herrings than clues that we use to confuse
Hiding all the skeletons cos that shits too gory
Dressing it up in synonyms
You say it’s allegory
It’s simple really
I’m sick of feeling sad
Sick of waiting for the sun
Sick of pretending to be glad
Sick of people being sick
And coughing up their lungs
Sick of missing all the laughter
Sick of worrying about my mum
Sick of seeing people dying
Sick of coffins on the news
Sick of not seeing anyone
Sick of the world being stuck on snooze
Sick of hearing about the sickness
Sick of the hate and all the lies
Sick of sitting here just sitting
Sick of being too scared to go outside
Feeling restless and lazy it amazes me how the days gone by are one big hazy mess
Distressed I confess I fear I’m far less than who I was
It’s just my anxiety man
It shouldn’t scare me but it does
There I said it
I spoke it into existence
Some days are heavenly but others I have to be persistent
Resisting the urge to sit quietly and listen to the words it puts in my head
I have to fight hard to seize the day
And believe in myself instead
For the love of life and for the love of my life
Since this day is all there is
There’s gotta be a better way
Man this ain’t no way to live
Here’s to hoping so let me just say
I hope that we can dance again
Hope that we can laugh again
Hope to wipe your tears with my own hands when we can hug again
Hope that you’re still friends of mine
Hope that we can jam sometime
Hope that we can say we’re not ok and not just say I’m fine
Hope that we will fly some day
Drink cocktails in the sea some day
Hope that I can learn to swim and chase you down the beach some day
Hope there’s queues outside the bars
Hope that we can see the stars
Hope that all the wounds can heal
And all we have to show is scars
Hope we see some better times
Hope I write some happy rhymes
Hope to reminisce about all this like it was all a dream sometime.
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Winning and losing
Sincerely I wanna commit a sin dearly
Whenever you are a near me
Two shadows fighting over a waining light
Delighting in this reverie
Every time I think of you
Another chink in my armour reveals itself
So appealing is the thought of losing to you
For even when I lose I win
How could I refuse this sin?
My muse you may find this amusing
This confusion of winning and losing
Makes you merely more alluring
Assuring me of the assertion that by losing myself to you.. I’ve won.
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Calling the ‘rents
Hey Pops! Hope you’re well
You sound agitated I can tell
Listen Dad, please stay at home
Don’t leave without reason
One day soon we’ll roam I promise
But right now it’s open season on your life
Mine too I suppose, who knows right?
No Dad I’m not calling you old
I wouldn’t dare question your youth
For once Dad please do as your told
I’m a little bit scared, to tell you the truth
You know what I mean
Now sit your ass down
Be there for your Queen
Or she’ll be left holding your crown
Actually is mum there? Give her the phone
Remember Dad stay at home!
I don’t know when I will see you again
Stay smiling and stay alive until then..Hey Momma, how are you today?
It sucks that I have to stay away
Apparently it’s for the best, lets see
Anyway tell me
How’s the rest of the family?
Yeah, I got your latest WhatsApp I think
Honestly mum, I lose track of the links you send
I told you that they’re fake don’t open them
If they make you shake your fist
Then try to resist ok?
If that auntie persists on sharing this crap
I’ll report her as a terrorist I swear
Ok I’m being silly but seriously try to rest
As you always say, this life is a test
Don’t let it best you, be strong
God forbid something goes wrong
Let me know if there’s anything you need
I hate to admit this
But I wish I heeded your warning
I wish I came home more often
Instead of sitting here mourning the fact that I don’t know when I will see you again
Hopefully you can tell me off to my face soon
I swear I’ll listen like it’s my favourite tune
And we’ll all be together immune to the world that kept us apart
I look forward to holding you both again
For now I’ll hold you in my heart
Take care Mum, look after Dad for me
Don’t be sad that we’re far away
Be glad that someday will be here soon
And we’ll all be drinking chai in the same room
Ugh fine..Inshallah we’ll all be drinking chai in the same room..
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Proud of you
Spy into my eyes and see yourself
Snapshots of times gone by
Glimpses of dreams to come
A mosaic of memories
Step back for the grand reveal
Each piece significant in its place
From those sad moments that awash your eyes with the colours of fall
To the better times colouring you in a sunshine glow
So step back and marvel at what you are
What you will become
What you will have been
You are the star
You are the show
You are the curtain call
You are the encore
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And so we swayed
The sun came down and the dust settled for a moment
Sitting still..so very still in the light of a thousand fireflies that waltzed through the whisps of lingering clouds
Seemingly caressing one another in an ethereal embrace
The grass cooled my hands
The air kissed my skin as gently as it could
Each breeze teased with a touch
Not long enough to know but enough to yearn for more
As the dusk succumbed to memory, we dancedThe cacophony of music and chatter blended into a divine melody
The jarring sparring of sounds held hands and swayed,
Feeling compelled I decided to do the same
There were no sparks when our hands touched
Electricity would be overstating
It was peace
An undeniable yet undescribable sensation both known and a stranger
My heart slowed as did my breath
This present would not be lost to history yet
Her head resting on my chest steadied me further still
This serene moment was ours
Below the stars yet above all the noise
Cocooned inside a symphony of our own volition, we swayed
And time stepped back
She looked up and held me in her regard
Her eyes a contradiction of power and vulnerability
Breathlessly she uttered ‘I will always lift you up’..
All I could do was press a kiss atop her crown
My words she stole away along with the air to power them
And so we swayedAt some point fireworks dimmed the stars
And a cheer echoed into the night I think..
In all honesty these trivial details elude me
And I have no qualms, for that moment with her in my arms, as I was lost in her disarming eyes will be enough
That moment when only the stars could reach us
That moment when we held hands and swayed
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HSBS
It’s 5.30 on a Thursday and there’s one thing on my brain.
Wine beers, banter cheers! Chatting shit until the room spins, necking gin until your puking. Open bar open season. Switch off your mind no need for reason.
Just heading down and I get collared. Mr Project Manager hollers that I have to see a client tomorrow.
‘There will be other agencies there too, we need you to represent the crew’.
Im thinking ‘Yeah safe.. another meeting where I sit in silence, while some suits start chatting finance and I’m wondering what the time is and why I’m even here.’
I mean ‘Cool I’ll see you in the morning but for now I’ll have a beer’.At 10am I stumble into Canary Wharf, completely dwarfed by the towers all around. Surrounded by the sound of shuffling grey suits and the impatient pounding of patent leather boots.
Altogether it was too much for my sore head to take, however the devil always wants his due and it was my bed to make.After a little getting lost and a pitstop for a coffee, It finally stands before me. HSBC.
Cutting to the chase, here we are now face to face, with a client called Marley, flanked by his three little birds.
Each an expert in their field he claimed, as was I apparently, allegedly, in web accessibility.
Unaware of this horrific oversell, the experts and stakes. My blasé attitude the night before was beginning to look like a mistake.
I didn’t know who these people were and why we’re even here. So thirsty for the beer, I made a pig’s ear of being prepared.
Overconfident in my assumption of the bit part I would play.
My ass now Marley would hand to me on a shiny silver tray.
‘So Hammez, today i want to know that you truly are the best.
The spotlight is on you now, I’m putting you to the test. Does your agency belong at the table? We’ll find out soon enough, now bend over and sorry not sorry but this is going to be rough.’
What the fuck? How the fuck? Surely this man is joking.
So I start to talk but I can barely breathe, oh dear god I think I’m choking!
My throat starts to close and bereft of all thoughts my mind begins to clear. An empty chamber with me in the middle surrounded by empty bottles of beer.
My knees were weak and my arms were heavy, but I’m no Eminem, so I passed the mic along and waited for the ground to swallow me.Marley laughed and I hated him.
My crew too who sat back to enjoy the view.
As the big red bus they threw me under, broke my spine in two.
If only they had warned me that this Marley’s got no chill. That he gets his thrills, from grilling you, until your smoked.
Perhaps I would have done my homework, perhaps I wouldn’t have choked.
But I should have cared enough to ask and put my ego in my pocket. Maybe I would have had the words and the power in me to stop it.
Instead of being so cocksure and ending up looking like a cock for sure, I might have actually prevailed.
But in the end I failed to prepare and ultimately I prepared to fail.
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Fallen Monkey
Have I got a story to tell
About a monkey that fell
Deep in the midst of a slumber
Snoozing, legs asunder
His branch was weak
It started to creak
And then came a crack
From under his back
Splintering slow
He started to go
Sliding at first
Beginning to tumble
The poor branch groaned
As it started to crumble
He opened his eyes
And gasped with surprise
No branch within reach
He let out a screech
Greeting the ground with a thud
Face first hitting the mud
Far from amused
At what had ensued
Wiping the dirt from his face
To reveal the utter disgrace
All because his behind
Was too big for where he reclined
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Night Drive
Three in the morning and we’ve done it again
The same promise we secretly promised to break
Tiredness never reaches the eyes
Or it does but we choose to pretend
Holding her in my eyes, as if one glance away will steal her from me
Never breathing deep, as the butterflies won’t rest in my chest
Struggling to maintain mystery, as my mouth keeps giving away the rest
Walking her to my car a thought tickles me
Has anyone else ever noticed how her eyes bewitch under a street light?
Even In that dull orange glow
Somehow she steals the show
There go the butterflies again
Breathe now Hammez, breathe
Finally in my Bentley, or so it feels right now
We take the same left turn and ride into the night.
Never quite sure what my DJ has in store
Deep dirty beats or a cheese filled score
Ah, If only I was a chameleon man
I’d easily keep one eye on her and the other on the road
Stealing glances at red lights, never quite enough
Smiling, singing, teasing, giggling
My co pilot, my confidante
As I shift gears her hand holds mine
I’m no believer but surely this is a sign
Reaching her home
Reaching in for a kiss
‘Keep the lights off’ she insists
Undercover lovers
Reminiscing another night under the covers
I drive home wondering how there were ever any others
Ask me what it is she possesses
That has me lost in her caresses
I’ll start with my heart
You fill in the rest.
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