unsent draft messages

I want to say I’m sorry
I never thought how hard it must be
All you do is worry
Worry about me
Your existence could seem a curse
Not everyone’s cup of tea
But you did not choose this life

The life of anxiety

You wake up and you’re worried
As you scurry to knock on my door
I rarely choose to listen
Seriously though, what for?

All you do is plan
Or dig up shit I regret
When all I really want to do
Is close my eyes and forget

Forget about tomorrow
Or the sorrows of yesterday
Some heat I’d like to borrow
Yet you have none to my dismay

But today I had a thought about you
Oh devil upon my shoulder
Perhaps you don’t always hold me back
Perhaps you could make me bolder?

I don’t know when I decided
Decided to close the door
As if by pushing you aside
I would be able to rest assured

In times of crisis you’ve been there
When I felt lost you found me
When my mind is racing with fear
You knew what to do to ground me

We’d sit together and make a plan
Using the past for a new tomorrow
Remembering all the cracks in the road
Never painting over the sorrow

You’ve had my back from the day I was born
Quietly by my side
Lately though you’ve been feeling low
And I did nothing as you sat and cried

Your worries grew worse
As did your regrets
And all I did was deny you

I slammed the door
To block out your voice
All that did was terrify you

I never stopped to ask you why
Why do you feel this way?
Where those worries came from
Or why they won’t go away

You wanted to talk
I wanted to run
Foolishly I tried to hide
When all along
I was all sorts of wrong
Not seeing it’s in me you reside

You are my friend
You are not my enemy
Sometimes you get worked up
But against me…you will never be

We’ve seen some shit
And you remember it
Even if I refuse
But if I leave you to it again
Again we both will lose

So hold me to this
That I will listen, when you need an ear
We’ll figure it out
Try to to clear up the doubts
In an embrace we’ll face the fears