unsent draft messages

Once upon a time
Not too long ago
In deepest darkest Peckham
Where life’s kinda slow

Five boys turned up
All ready to mingle
Jokers the lot of them
There’s a reason they’re single

The sound was James Brown
Funkin’ hipsters in snapbacks
Singing ‘It’s a mans world’
Two-stepping to Payback

There was bounty of beauties
Some cool and some bitchy
Some with lip hair, kinda like Lionel Richie

More mules than jewels
But the boys weren’t fussed
Full of night fever
Brains drunk on lust

The time now 4am
And the women were sparse
The boys kept on hustling
A complete tour-de-farce

One finally cracked it
He bagged him a lady
She whispered in his ear
‘Oooh I love to love you baby’

5 in the morning
The crowd was looking drab
What’s the answer?
What’s the question?
Is it cab or kebab?

Now the story ends
As the dawn creeps closer
Stumbling outside, feeling cold and sober
Alone and hungover, walked one of the jokers
All of a sudden, there’s a tap on his shoulder
Startled by the touch, even more by the odour
His bleary eyes settle on a gurning ogre

Her skin was scales and her nose was runny
‘I’ll lick your bumhole sir, just gimme some money’

The joker heard enough
He turned and made a dash
The ogre followed screaming
‘Please I need the cash!’

Just another night in crackwhore heaven
Where soul meets the dole
Welcome to Peckham 🙂